It had all started with a swab up our nostrils.

When my eldest, Saboor, developed a fever at the end of April, I told myself it couldn’t be COVID. I was convinced he was going to be fine, but still, being cautious, I quarantined him in his room and reduced his contact with others. I told everyone it was probably a regular fever.

But on the second day or so, I gave him some noodles to eat and he took it from me, then bent his head and sniffed the plate. He looked up at me. “I can’t smell anything,” he said.

The thud I felt inside was so huge that it eclipsed everything else in that moment. I told Mansoor frantically that maybe Saboor had COVID. Mansoor dismissed my concerns saying there was no way he could have got the infection but I couldn’t take such a laissez-faire attitude. I booked a home test and someone came home to take the swab for the COVID test.

Our worst fears were confirmed in some hours. He had tested positive. I was beside myself with worry. As a baby, he’d already been in the NICU for fifteen days because his lungs weren’t working when he...