In a new Netflix documentary charting the success of 90s boyband Take That, Gary Barlow has shared some never-before-seen photographs when he ballooned to 17 stone.


The Rule the World hitmaker was riddled with jealousy when he saw his former bandmate Robbie Williams rising through the ranks of fame after going solo, and admitted he wanted to "crawl into a hole".



Gary didn't leave his house for 13 months, explaining: "And the more weight I put on the less people would recognise me. I thought 'This is good, this is what I've been waiting for, living a normal life.' So I went on a mission. If the food passed me, I'd just eat it... and I killed the pop star!"


The singer-songwriter suffered from bulimia and binge-eating, reaching his heaviest weight in 2003.


He added: "I would have these nights where I'd eat and eat and eat, but however I felt about myself, I felt ten times worse the day after. One day I thought, I've been out, it's 10 o'clock, I've eaten too much, I need to get rid of this food.



"You just go off to a dark corner of the house and just throw up, just make yourself sick. You think it's only once and all of a sudden you're walking down that corridor again and again - is this it? Is this what I'm going to be doing forever?"



Gary decided to change - explaining: "It only took a few years to get that low, but it took me years to get back to who I wanted to be. 10 years probably."



Tragically, Gary would face further tragedy in 2012 with the birth of his stillborn daughter Poppy.


Gary, who shares three other children with wife Dawn Andrews - Daniel, Emily and Daisy - was given an hour to spend with his baby girl, who Dawn had carried to full term.


He said: "When she was born it was like a light came into the room. It was lovely, it was gorgeous, we both took turns cuddling her, and we took pictures.



"It was one of the best hours of my life I've ever experienced in the midst of the hardest time of my life. It was very powerful, that hour was.


"Poppy looked perfect and for an hour she was alive to us. She's in your arms, this beautiful little daughter of ours, a sister to our three other children."


He added: "Then the reality comes rushing into the room and all the air leaves your lungs. It felt like someone had a hand held tight at my throat.



"The nurses start hovering and they want to take her away. What we experienced and saw over those 24 hours, no-one should have to see or have to go through."


Just two weeks later, Gary had to perform with the rest of Take That at the London Olympics closing ceremony.


If you have been affected by this story, you can contact stillbirth and neonatal death charity SANDS, which offers a wealth of information and support. They also offer a Bereavement App which you can find here.


Support is also available through the NHS for anyone dealing with eating disorders, and you can find more information here.

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