Former actress and filmmaker Renu Desai, who was once married to actor-politician Pawan Kalyan, recently reflected on her journey as a single mother and the emotional weight she continues to carry. Renu revealed why she has chosen to stay away from romantic relationships, despite once getting engaged.

In a candid appearance on the Nikhil Vijayendra Simha podcast, Renu spoke about her desire to have a partner. Years after her separation from Pawan, she has openly discussed the challenges of raising children on her own and her hesitation to pursue a new relationship.

Speaking about her decision to stay single, Renu said, “Of course, I feel like having a partner too, but it is my sense of responsibility towards my kids that stops me from doing it.” She went on to explain that while she personally feels the desire to have a companion or get married again, her children’s needs take precedence.

In the podcast, she also revealed that she had once been engaged in what she described as a more arranged setup. However, the relationship didn’t work out. “I tried and got engaged, it was like an arranged thing. But I realised I would not be able to do justice either to the relationship or to the kids. I am a single parent. It is different when you marry someone and have kids with them. But when you’ve already had kids with someone, it’s a sensitive thing for someone else to enter the equation,” she said. The engagement was made public in 2018 but was later called off.

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Renu noted that she might reconsider the idea of a new relationship once her daughter Aadhya becomes an adult—18 years old—and leaves for college. Until then, she remains focused on her responsibilities as a mother.

Despite having been separated from Pawan Kalyan for over a decade, Renu continues to face harsh criticism online, especially from the actor’s fans. According to her, many people expected her to have tolerated more in the marriage. “I still have the trauma of my past. The baggage will never go. It will only go away when I die. The baggage is going to be there forever, and I’ve made peace with it. I can’t fight it anymore,” she shared.